Mike Paschall . com

As the number of spiritual children increase around Patti and myself, we notice that we are invited into more and more courtship situations on a daily basis.   Having raised two natural daughters and a few other spiritual sons and daughters, I have some history in these waters.  Protocols around dating, courting and even the asking for a woman’s hand in marriage is vitally important.  The men who married my daughters did it right.  It made stepping through the doors of “transference of headship” so easy and even enjoyable!  It was a holy moment in time when they asked for their hand and heart.  Patti and I both had so much respect for them because of how they honored our daughters and us.  They got the seriousness of what they were asking us for.  So briefly, let me just issue a flat statement on these protocols and here is hoping it lands with impact and precision.

“Sir, thank you for taking the time to come and talk to me (us).  The fact that my daughter is attached to you is the only comfort I personally have in this matter.  Spiritual fathers (if I am truly that) are usually ready to release their daughters when it bears witness in his own spirit that the man a daughter is attracted to is living in destiny, submitted to headship, under apostolic authority, free of church religion and has shown by many trials that he is faithful, capable and able to provide, protect and lead that daughter.

I am at a disadvantage here.  I may not know you.  So, there really isn’t anything you can “tell” me about yourself that will give me a sense of peace in this.  I can’t really be sold on the ideal of this.  For me to be at peace would require me to meet and talk with you… know you… get a read on your spirit.  I am not saying that I will not bless this.  I am not saying that it should not happen until I have that peace.  I am saying that I do not have rest about this… it is a simple truth.  Sometimes, fathers have to trust the daughter… period!  I don’t have any other option but to do just that.

In Kingdom culture, “spiritual” young men who choose to honor a woman properly, seek the permission of parents before they date, court or propose marriage.  They explore the wisdom and advice of spiritual counselors before they court and develop relationships.  If you really want to seal the deal, find a way to express your willingness to become a “son” and then do something about that.  Remember, we want to love you too!

Also, let me encourage you to understand that my daughter is not your possession, property or mate until after you are married.  I will ask you to honor all purity in regards to sexuality until she is your wife.  I will hold you personally responsible of such and I will ask you directly about this.  It is important that you remain strong and proper in all context of this relationship.  She deserves you to be strong and you don’t have the right to  just take what you want.  For you to fail in this arena is an invitation to blockages that may take you years to untangle in your marriage.  She is worth the wait.  Prove your strength.   Proper covenant demands this.  The world thinks this is just ‘old fashioned’ and out of date.  It is not… it is Kingdom.

-MDP-