Home > Uncategorized > what did you say?

what did you say?

“He who answers a matter before he hears it, it is folly and shame to him.”  Proverbs 18:13, NKJ

I’m bringing personal baggage today, but let me lay down a disclaimer that I am working on this issue in my life.  Although I can pinpoint the trait back to how my family rolls when we get excited, the blame is squarely upon my shoulders now.  I know better and my sweet wife helps me keep it in check with loving critiques.  I’m referring to the nasty habit of talking over another person when they’re trying to make a point or just sharing information.  If I don’t pay attention, I’ll cut you off in a heartbeat with my own grand exposition.  Of course, what I’m talking about is of major importance, so it’s more important that you pay attention.  Over the years, I’ve watched how we (some members of my birth family) roll in communication.  It’s not that uncommon for everyone to talk at the same time.  Then, if we realize that no one is listening, the only tactic left it to just talk louder!  It’s quite comical but extremely frustrating at times.  Sometimes, you just know that needed phone call is going to require you to listen carefully and say very little to actually get through it without ripping the phone cord out of the wall.  It’s our way, but it’s not too effective.  As I said, I’m working on it.

Part of the problem is the “me monster” effect.  When that bad boy begins to manifest, people get offended.  Not everyone has the stomach for our kind of entertainment or drama.   Overall, we need to kill the “me monster” and genuinely get interested in someone else’s ideas, besides just our own. We have all this technology and means of communication, but it’s actually not helping our manners.   In fact, it may be inflating the problem.  My wife recently told me that she thinks people who do not respond to phone messages, emails, texts or any other attempt to be reached for communication, and I quote, “It’s rude!  Downright rude!” It’s like being in your house and a friend or family member drops by to check on you.  They ring the doorbell, but you won’t answer the door because you can’t take the time to be inconvenienced, all the while, your guest stands on your front porch, knowing you are in the house and you won’t come to the door!  She’s right, it is “downright rude”.  It could be that we have jammed our lives with so much chronos eating activity that we don’t think we can spare time for those we really do love.  It’s probably about time that we rethink the messages that we are projecting.

Solomon is laying down some real practical help here.  One of the side notes in the NET Bible, mentions that the Mishnah (the oral traditions of the Law) taught that a person who will not listen, over talks in communication, over states facts, and impatiently cuts off another person’s dialogue with their own responses, gives evidence to a lack of manners and culture.  Wisdom says, “It is shameful” and yes Ms. Patti, it is rude!  It definitely conveys the signal that we are too engrossed in our own ideas.  We need to do better.  “I’m sorry… what did you say?”

-MDP-

Categories: Uncategorized
  1. Kara Dawn
    March 9, 2011 at 7:26 am

    So true. Guilty as charged. Thanks for reminding me to be sensitive to others. I love you!

  2. Joe Paschall
    March 9, 2011 at 10:14 am

    Son, your post applies to everyone as you say and particularly our national congressional members –very few are listening and they simply had rather loudly give their views and blame someone else. I have people come to my office to see me and their cell phone wlll ring two or three times before we complete our conversation. I will not make judgements about them but it interrupts our subject. Class is defined as someone who is kind, gentle, courteous, and helpful to all people regardless of their economic station in every day life. Dad

  3. marisol doyle
    March 9, 2011 at 9:33 pm

    Agree…

    I feel bad when I do it…yet sometimes I just need the time to recover with the Lord to issues in own life…trying to make lemonade from the lemons received if you know what I mean. ;0)

    a hug to Patti!

  4. bec
    March 21, 2011 at 1:39 am

    Mike-
    i do love your blogs, and i love and respect Patti too! but i do disagree slightly. In the days of instant messageing, texts, emails, cell phones, land lines, facebook etc etc. I feel like it all “invades” ones life. There has to be a point where you can say, today is about the people i am, physically with. Or the phone is interrupting my time, or my peace.
    I have fantastic friends who I might email twice a year, never call on the phone, but when I see them we laugh, we cry we live. We don’t need constant words of affirmation or one liners, and don’t expect anything more from each other except, love and the knowledge that we are there for one another when need be.
    So I know I don’t respond to facebook status’, or to each email, I choose not to answer the phone. I am choosing to use the little time I have to live with the constant flow of people I am surrounded by.
    Life is too fast these days, too easy to be cyber stalking lots of people. I remember when I would write letters to my friends and actually “mail” them. we would correspond a few times a year, and our relationship was and is rock solid. Just because now we can write and click doesn’t mean we have too.
    Sorry Patti, hope you don’t think I’m rude, because being rude to you would be like grabbing a lolipop out a babies mouth!! just mean!
    xxxxx bec

    • March 21, 2011 at 4:48 am

      Totally see this…and I agree with what you’ve said. I probably didn’t write enough words to qualify the specifics of where Ms P is coming from.

      Love you Bec
      xo

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