Mike Paschall . com

“He who answers a matter before he hears it, it is folly and shame to him.”  Proverbs 18:13, NKJ

I’m bringing personal baggage today, but let me lay down a disclaimer that I am working on this issue in my life.  Although I can pinpoint the trait back to how my family rolls when we get excited, the blame is squarely upon my shoulders now.  I know better and my sweet wife helps me keep it in check with loving critiques.  I’m referring to the nasty habit of talking over another person when they’re trying to make a point or just sharing information.  If I don’t pay attention, I’ll cut you off in a heartbeat with my own grand exposition.  Of course, what I’m talking about is of major importance, so it’s more important that you pay attention.  Over the years, I’ve watched how we (some members of my birth family) roll in communication.  It’s not that uncommon for everyone to talk at the same time.  Then, if we realize that no one is listening, the only tactic left it to just talk louder!  It’s quite comical but extremely frustrating at times.  Sometimes, you just know that needed phone call is going to require you to listen carefully and say very little to actually get through it without ripping the phone cord out of the wall.  It’s our way, but it’s not too effective.  As I said, I’m working on it.

Part of the problem is the “me monster” effect.  When that bad boy begins to manifest, people get offended.  Not everyone has the stomach for our kind of entertainment or drama.   Overall, we need to kill the “me monster” and genuinely get interested in someone else’s ideas, besides just our own. We have all this technology and means of communication, but it’s actually not helping our manners.   In fact, it may be inflating the problem.  My wife recently told me that she thinks people who do not respond to phone messages, emails, texts or any other attempt to be reached for communication, and I quote, “It’s rude!  Downright rude!” It’s like being in your house and a friend or family member drops by to check on you.  They ring the doorbell, but you won’t answer the door because you can’t take the time to be inconvenienced, all the while, your guest stands on your front porch, knowing you are in the house and you won’t come to the door!  She’s right, it is “downright rude”.  It could be that we have jammed our lives with so much chronos eating activity that we don’t think we can spare time for those we really do love.  It’s probably about time that we rethink the messages that we are projecting.

Solomon is laying down some real practical help here.  One of the side notes in the NET Bible, mentions that the Mishnah (the oral traditions of the Law) taught that a person who will not listen, over talks in communication, over states facts, and impatiently cuts off another person’s dialogue with their own responses, gives evidence to a lack of manners and culture.  Wisdom says, “It is shameful” and yes Ms. Patti, it is rude!  It definitely conveys the signal that we are too engrossed in our own ideas.  We need to do better.  “I’m sorry… what did you say?”

-MDP-