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wrong question

Can you help me get to my destiny?”

I believe it’s the wrong question. I used get asked that question a lot, and there is serious temptation to answer the question, but it’s totally the wrong question.

Here are 3 reasons why:  YOU ~ ME ~ MY

YOU – This whole destiny thing is 100% God’s business. I do believe that we are all blessed with certain abilities and potential to affect and infect those around us. We are each so unique, so divinely programmed and created, that it’s much too complicated a task for any one human to get any of us to destiny. Our choices, passions, gifts, and callings transition us from one punctilios encounter after another. Life is shifting all around us every second of every day. We just can’t orchestrate life in the way that we think we can. No one can. How you respond has everything to do with how, when, and where you land. Sure-thing decisions do not always work out the way they’re advertised. Forced decisions sometimes end up being the biggest blessing of our life. Risky/foggy decisions are laced with all sorts of potential. Again, it depends on you… not another person.

[For any person who has ever felt vibes from me that their big journey to a clearer path hinged on my involvement… PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE FORGIVE ME! At best it’s blatant arrogance. From there the description only gets uglier.]

ME / MY – Destiny is not a destination or a program. Destiny is the path you’ll realize after you’ve already gotten to where you’re going. If you possess the wild notion that reaching your destiny is like climbing the ladder of success… well, you’ve got a rude awakening on the horizon. Loss, disappointment, pain, betrayal, and ash will all play an equally important roll in uncovering who you really are. The romantics and poets can inspire you, but don’t be carried away by the sirens of charmed success. Success rarely teaches us anything productive about life.

A senior mentor reminds me constantly that I need to stop the whole destiny conversation about myself until I’m in my mid-sixties. He is an octogenarian. He says, “You haven’t lived enough life yet to make an intelligent observation.” He’s usually grinning and petting my arm like I’m his Golden-doodle puppy. It always makes me laugh, but honestly it stings a little. It makes me think that there are still some serious life courses to be taken, and I’m not a big fan of school.

If we’re called to service in any capacity, the whole me/my aspect is mostly wrapped up in self-centric thinking. How do we really give away what we have to give when WE are the most important consideration?

See? The question sets us up for bad form. Is there a different or better question?

I think so. Maybe. Try this one:

What’s the best way to add value to mankind?

This question gives anyone permission to get after a task or purpose without working for approval. Now it’s about the great “out there,” and there’s room for wisdom or inspiration to call out your greatness and release you to the masses without tethers. Now you can objectively calculate how to give yourself away without obsessing in personal care or concern for getting to the next level. (Whatever the crap that means?) Serving becomes the focus, creating for the benefit of others becomes the passion, and watching others ingest and receive the love is just the best.

One more thought and I’ll be done: Adding value can happen right here… right now… wherever you are. You don’t have to buy into any exotic notion that it’s better somewhere else. It’s not. The goodness and greatness happens wherever and whenever you spill you. I haven’t always believed that. I’m doing my best to align my head and heart to that notion now.

Love you all,






Categories: Uncategorized
  1. Kayla
    February 2, 2016 at 9:58 am

    “The goodness and greatness happens wherever and whenever you spill you.”

    Love this, Mike! Thanks for continually pouring out yourself for us and teaching us what it means to really add value where we are. Throughout the years with you and Patti, this is perhaps one of the most important lessons we have gleaned.

    • February 2, 2016 at 12:00 pm

      Sista Encouragement! Thanks babe. xo

  2. Bekah
    February 2, 2016 at 10:51 am

    Thankful that you ENCOURAGED me to press into my destiny and made it a choice I had to make. I know there were many times I wanted to give up on the race. You told me “TWR is an initiation of fire. No one escapes it. No one.” and that has stuck with me. It isn’t just the WR, but destiny in general. WE are being challenged, the road isn’t easy and that is okay!
    I love looking back at where I have come from. Thanks again for this reminder!

  3. February 3, 2016 at 7:40 pm

    “Adding value can happen right here… right now… wherever you are.” Such a good reminder, especially when it’s so easy to get wrapped up in getting “there” instead of adding value where we already are now.

    So thankful for you and Mama Patti! Love and miss you both!

    • February 4, 2016 at 6:06 am

      Thanks dear! We love you! xo

  4. February 5, 2016 at 11:43 am

    Love you Mike. : )

  5. February 7, 2016 at 5:41 pm

    So good Papa P! Much of the destiny question and language got debunked this past year for me while at the same time was used against me. I found myself paralyzed in fear of making wrong decisions. Talk about self-centered thinking. The last few months have been a sweet and salty time of navigating that notion without the religious background/theology. The journey is so much of our ‘destiny’ and I feel like the church needs to stop putting so much emphasis on destiny because as you said puts the focus on us and I think leaves many disappointed and disillusioned. Thanks for your blog and continuous wisdom, it’s good to hear your words again.

    Love and joy!

    Megan Dietrich

    • February 7, 2016 at 5:54 pm

      You nailed it babe! You really did! Thanks for sharing that.

      Love you!

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