Posts Tagged ‘whine’

planes, trains, hell

March 8, 2010 4 comments

I didn’t realize how bad it’s gotten.  The incessant whining about my personal discomfort on airplanes.  It dawned on me yesterday right after I had hit the “send” button on an online survey that American Airlines had sent me after our recent trip to Thailand.  Most of the questions were multiple choice and they provided the progression bar that shows you how close you are to finishing their survey.  I appreciate the heads up and constant awareness of how close I am to being done with what I agreed to do.  The last question of the survey was simple:  “Any comment you would like to offer to American Airlines about our service?” Oh man, finally!  Here was my opportunity to share my real thoughts.  So, I dumped my load:  “THE BOEING 777 USED IN THE AA FLEET, IS THE MOST MISERABLE PIECE OF FLYING MACHINERY EVER CREATED BY MAN!” I know what you’re thinking:  Geez Mike!  How do you really feel about it?  Who inserted the hot poker up your sewer pipe?

Once we get to a location to debrief a squad, I’m happy as a lark!  Being with the kids  on THE WORLD RACE quickly erases the torment, but the getting-to and getting-back from a trip overseas is “hell” for me.  I’m 6′ 5″ , I weigh too much and the coach lounge on most planes do not have “my” type body or frame in consideration when they started drilling the holes for the seat brackets.  The list of my grievances are too many to mention here.  It’s pathetic really.  “I’m” pathetic when it comes to these flying torture chambers.  We have Platinum status with American, but you have to either buy a certain kind of ticket for upgrade possibilities (more expensive) or buy the actual upgrade with miles and cash for overseas travel (it’s just crazy). So, until Bill Gates or Warren Buffet decide to begin their monthly support of ETI, none of those possibilities are going to happen any time soon.

One of my buddies who travels more than I do says, “I just go comatose.” He’ll try to sleep but for the most part, he just shuts it all down and just stares into nothingness.  He doesn’t eat, drink, stir…nothing.  He will read, but that’s  about it.  Another friend has two glasses of wine and pops an Ambien.  Gone!  Nite-nite sweet prince, but it doesn’t work for me.  I can barely get my legs into position in front of me on a plane.  Actually getting comfortable enough to even doze off (drug induced or not) just will not happen.  So, I’m the guy roaming the aisles on the plane while  the rest of you are napping.  Some of you are really scary when you sleep, so it’s a good thing you don’t have to see what I see when I’m on my nocturnal wanderings.   No, I don’t really have to pee that much, but it’s just something to do and it’s a change of scenery.  Yes sir, you bought the seat right in front of me and you do have the right to lean ALL the way back so you can sleep, but when you do that…I AM TOTALLY HOSED!   My number 11’s in the aisle  up near YOUR feet, are an indicator that “Houston, we have a problem!”  So, I usually just turn sideways with my feet in the aisle and sulk.   I know the flight attendants cuss me, constantly having to step over me, but I don’t have any other options.  Feeling sorry for me yet?  I told you…it’s pathetic.

Team 180 on “L” squad, just spent 24 hours on a train getting out of Vietnam.  Don’t make the mistake of picturing the cushy seating on Amtrak  or the trains in Europe.  Visualize a straight backed park bench for seating in the foyer at your  favorite backwoods County Courthouse.  Kelsi Dawe recorded the positives of this trip in a video.  It’s a fun video, but take a look and you’ll see what these racers sometimes endure in their travel schedule.  SEE KELSI’S VIDEO:  CLICK HERE. To be truthful, I have been convicted, <again>, about my attitude concerning my own little personal “hell” on airplanes.  I know Patti will read this and it will be her personal mission and  holy duty to help remind me, but I’m going to make a conscious effort to live in “thanks”, choose “joy” and stop all the murmuring about my personal discomfort while flying.  No one  enjoys sitting in coach while crossing the planet…NO ONE!  It’s just the price you pay to do the deal.  It’s the cost to be with our spiritual sons and daughters on the field.  You are invited to ask me when you see me.  I’m working on a right verbal response that reflects a real change in my head and heart.  *sigh* Help Me Jesus!