Home > Uncategorized > the unglorious colloquy with naked self

the unglorious colloquy with naked self

Naked self.  Quite the character, I must say.

I don’t meet with him very often.  I see him almost every day, but most of the time I try to ignore him.  That guy has really changed over the years.

It seems like only yesterday all the hair on his chest was jet black.  And the hundreds of times he’s packed and unpacked his bags for another ministry gig seems to have left permanent bags under his eyes.  The external rearrangements are staggering to say the least.

Not a lot more needs to be said about all of that because the unglorious colloquy with naked self isn’t about personal aesthetics.   Our aesthetics (and our own displeasure of them) is just too easy of a target.  When you consider genetics, gender, and race, there are just some things about how we look that are beyond our control.

Two truths I realized when I turned 50:

(1) Gravity shifts stuff down

(2) We only think we’re in control.

Meet with your naked self often enough and you’ll realize those truths well before your ‘50s.

So dude, you ran a 4.6 40-yard dash in high school?  You still got those kinds of wheels?

Honey, you’re 28 and you’ve nursed three babies?  Things have shifted huh?  As Hindes says, “Shift happens!”

See?  This is what I’m talking about.  Aesthetics are easy and mostly fleeting.  The unglorious colloquy with naked self is about something else.  It’s more . . . penetrating.  Deeper.  Ruthless.  Invasive.

We all have external stuff about us we don’t like or want to change.  Who doesn’t?  Even the most beautiful people on this planet will find something about themselves to pick at.  Pick up any Hollywood tabloid and see for yourself.

Here is what got me thinking about all of this.  Three Sundays ago, I was sitting on the couch enjoying my early morning with Patti.  Hot coffee, comfy sweats, computer in my lap—basically just chillin’ out.  As I turned my head to sneeze, a knifing pain shot through my lower back.  Before I could readjust my position, I sneezed again.  Now a hellacious pain engulfed by lower back.  So much so, I had to fight the urge to throw up.

There was no way to get comfortable.  Standing straight up was impossible.  Laying down on my side was about the least irritating position.  This went on for two weeks!  I was walking around like a very old, hurt man.

I gave patience, ibuprofen, ice, and heat a whirl for about a week.   But after eight long days, I finally called Dr. Gary.  I’m in Texas.  He’s in South Carolina.  I needed his magic and insight.  He helped me locate a chiropractor in Waco, so I made an appointment and went.

Let me interrupt here a second.  Patti and I recognize that sometimes there is some sort of spiritual readjustment necessary to get physically sound and well.  I know this can get very legalistic and crazy in this venue, but we’ve seen inner healing bring physical healing—lots of times actually.  Not every time, but too many times to ignore the possibility.

So, about eight days into my personal hell, my wife asked me what I knew she was already thinking. My wife has never helped me develop the skills of trying to read her mind.  I’m usually told what is on her mind before I ever have a thought about what she might be thinking.

So, do you have a problem with someone or something?  You’re out of alignment.  What’s going on?

It just pissed me off when she said it, because I knew she was right.  I had already been going over that question in my mind.  I issued a generalized: negatory goodbuddy!

I frikk’n sneezed Patti!  Don’t get weird on me.  I frikk’n sneezed, I’m hurt, and I’m not too happy about it.  Just pray.

Men can be such whiney pricks.

My chiropractor appointment was that morning.  Patti left for the day and I went to the bathroom to shower and shave—AND there he was again.  Naked self.  Except, this time the dude was toting an attitude.

Any particular reason why you feel inclined to bark at your wife because she’s asking the same questions you’d be asking her if she was in your situation?

I have no defense.

What’s the matter with you?  You seem to be tense about every thing in your life right now.  You are out of alignment and I’m not just talking about your back.

Frik!  See I told you.  Invasive.  Ruthless.  At this point my nose is on the mirror and I’m staring through the dark windows.

You just left a season you absolutely loved.  You still need rest, creative space, and you’re undone with a couple of months of transition and mystery?

How the heck does naked self know this stuff?

This down time is the time to plan, think, dream (remember when you used to love to dream?) and deal with the downed fences around the pasture.

Anything else?

Stop thinking about having to do some “thing” that will change the whole world.  It’s a ridiculous notion.  Be willing to serve those around you today.  HE has already done what is necessary to change the world.  It’s too much pressure.  It’s hard to love if you’re under religious pressure.  Love and serve.  That’s it.  Love and serve.  You can do that no matter where you are.

That was the big stuff.  Naked self addressed a couple more personal items that really aren’t important to anyone else, so I’ll spare you the details.

I then dressed and went to my appointment.  It was NOT a Dr. Gary adjustment.  Holy crap!  I had to go home afterwards to see if I soiled myself.  Wow.

But I felt better the very next day.  Two days later, I went back for another adjustment.  Everything was back in alignment, and I was on the treadmill and lifting weights again the very next day.  BOOM!  Just like that!

The temptation here is to produce the formula.  There is nothing in here that remotely resembles a formula.  There is no formula.  THERE IS NO FRIKK’N FORMULA!

What I think I got out of my little baño episode is that naked self should probably have more stage time than what he or she really gets.  Not in a weird selfie-way (God please deliver us from this fad), but in a truth encounter way.  Why?  Because there are some things in our lives that can only be addressed by us.  And from deep inside all of that compacted dust and earth from which we were all created, we need to decide and make some changes—knowing all too well that change can be painful and lonely.

I’m not a professional in this sport, but I do try to be honest and forthright.  Naked self sometimes needs to get our attention because we’re not listening to anyone, including the Lord.  Naked self probably has some stuff to say.

It might be about your personal aesthetics (which usually only reveals a more serious issue if you’ve got the courage to face it).

It could be a legitimate need to readjust attitudes, postures, and spiritual hygiene.

Or even, “Hey dude… you’re wearing me out with all your vibration and fear.  Settle yo rear, would ya?  At least pretend you got some faith.”

And then there is all the stuff about our relationships and communique portfolio regarding the important people in our lives.

For me, it was time for the unglorious colloquy with naked self.  An adjustment prior to the adjustment.

It might be time for you too.

-MDP-

Categories: Uncategorized
  1. February 20, 2014 at 10:27 am

    Thanks for this!!!

  2. February 20, 2014 at 10:56 am

    Really Great Insight, Mike! I hate you for it, just saying…

    • February 20, 2014 at 1:12 pm

      yeah… it works like that. Thanks sir!

  3. Patti
    February 20, 2014 at 5:02 pm

    Good blog Michael Dean! I love you!

  4. Rose Egan
    February 20, 2014 at 6:35 pm

    Yikes….! So good:) Love you.

    • February 20, 2014 at 7:32 pm

      Love you too Sista Rose! xo

  5. Nicole
    February 20, 2014 at 8:20 pm

    Wow…just wow! Love this one. Love your honesty. Love you!

  6. darcisimpson
    February 21, 2014 at 8:28 am

    Oh man …. This was sooo good!! Love you Poppa Bear!

  7. Jess Pace
    February 25, 2014 at 12:53 pm

    Love this. I can relate to feeling spiritually “out of alignment” lately. I guess it’s time I too had some naked self dialogue. Glad to know you are feeling much better! Love you!

  8. Mark
    March 2, 2014 at 9:27 pm

    This is exactly what I needed to hear. Good word. Thanks, Mike!

    • March 3, 2014 at 8:01 am

      Thanks Mark! Love and miss you.

  9. Kayla
    March 15, 2014 at 4:06 pm

    This is really good, Mike! So good that I hate it, but I need to take it to heart. God continues to speak through you as you are real and raw. Thank you! Love you!

  10. Glenn
    March 20, 2014 at 7:06 pm

    Too many naked selfs…….
    Glenn

    • March 20, 2014 at 8:46 pm

      decode that for me. meaning what?

  11. Glenn
    March 20, 2014 at 11:06 pm

    Lol
    I really liked the story and I felt like
    you were in my mind.
    Luv Ya,
    Glenn

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